"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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