Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
