I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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