Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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