We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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