I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
