Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
