I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
