I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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