question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
