Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
