he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
No I am not eating basil off your cock
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
