Moan for me like Helen Keller
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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