Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
