At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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