so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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