those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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