Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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