So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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