This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
