he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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