just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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