it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
