does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
