If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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