If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
