Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
