My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
