i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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