Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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