I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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