Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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