Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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