are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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