Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
