why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
