She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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