I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
one might say we're banned from that church
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
