I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
