i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right