Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  that's an acceptable place to lick

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  (212): that's an acceptable place to lick http://tfl.nu/6rie
  Replies (11) Good night (4245) Bad night (678)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.

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  (617): it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before. http://tfl.nu/1u0r
  Replies (20) Good night (738) Bad night (3817)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.

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  (301): Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable. (201): I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around. http://tfl.nu/syx6
  Replies (44) Good night (4348) Bad night (836)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous

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  (204): She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous http://tfl.nu/ntwa
  Replies (17) Good night (9078) Bad night (861)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.

  (979): View more from Texas

  I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.

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  (281): I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me. (979): I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys. http://tfl.nu/btxr
  Replies (23) Good night (5660) Bad night (1908)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.

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  (516): He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes. http://tfl.nu/agxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1358) Bad night (4583)
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  (209): View more from California

  found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.

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  (209): found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised. http://tfl.nu/cxq4
  Replies (7) Good night (1206) Bad night (3954)
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  (716): View more from New York

  do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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  (716): do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth http://tfl.nu/ncht
  Replies (13) Good night (1305) Bad night (3308)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety

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  (715): He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety http://tfl.nu/vghu
  Replies (4) Good night (2198) Bad night (1140)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover

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  (203): im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover http://tfl.nu/eh7g
  Replies (1) Good night (1672) Bad night (758)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt

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  (210): It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt http://tfl.nu/ws0p
  Replies (8) Good night (1246) Bad night (722)
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  (562): View more from California

  it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

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  (562): it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats http://tfl.nu/6ylt
  Replies (2) Good night (954) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."

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  (302): Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back." http://tfl.nu/49s7
  Replies (14) Good night (823) Bad night (2799)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.

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  (407): I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite. http://tfl.nu/f7w3
  Replies (0) Good night (884) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  update: I failed

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  (908): tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B (908): update: I failed http://tfl.nu/ownp
  Replies (4) Good night (382) Bad night (581)

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