You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
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Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
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He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?