I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family