I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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