i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
even my farts smell like vagina
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
