That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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