well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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