Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
