Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Ambien. No doubt about it.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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