it wasn't lemon gatorade
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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