...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
