I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
