I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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