Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize