those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
