I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
