The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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