Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
