I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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